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Madaracs's Avatar Picture Madaracs – January 28, 2008 02:34PM Reply Quote
Formerly Dumb Yocks "A rabbi, a priest, and a nun walk into a bar...."

Do us your worst!

ddt – December 13, 2015 12:40PM Reply Quote
Stealing from a "brain bleach needed" comment at wehuntedthemammoth,com:

"– A Roman man walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says “Five beers please.”

– Another Roman walks into the bar and asks for a martinus.

“You mean a martini?” the bartender asks.

The roman replies: “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!”

– Literary jokes never get old. The painting in the attic does that for them.

– Why was WWI so quick? Because they were Russian.

Why was WWII so slow? Because they were Stalin.

– Where did Nicholas Romanov II get his coffee? Tsarbucks.

– What is the best alliance in history? Russia and the weather."



ARL (Moderator) – November 15, 2016 08:06PM Reply Quote
Dad joke of the day:

*Final Arrangements - Donald Trump*

Donald Trump goes on a fact-finding visit to Israel.

While he is on a tour of Jerusalem he suffers a heart attack and dies.

The undertaker tells the American diplomats accompanying him, "you can have him shipped home for $50,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land for just $100."

The American diplomats go into a corner to discuss for a few minutes.

They return with their answer to the undertaker and tell him they want Donald Trump shipped home.

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, "why would you spend $50,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?"

The American diplomats reply, "long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take the risk."

John Willoughby – November 18, 2016 06:17PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
In a sad sign of the times, Tom Carvel is now going around and grabbing women by the Cookie Puss.

ARL (Moderator) – August 22, 2017 08:47PM Reply Quote
(I shamefully post this below only because it's kind of Apple-related):

Steve Jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump. But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.

ARL (Moderator) – August 22, 2017 08:53PM Reply Quote
DPBD! (and again, Dad joke warning...)

The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.

After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:

The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.

ARL (Moderator) – February 18, 2018 09:11PM Reply Quote
A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a businessman walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "what can I get you, Mr President?"

John Willoughby – February 18, 2018 10:05PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
Don't buy flowers from monks. Only you can prevent florist friars.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/18/2018 10:05PM by John Willoughby.

ARL (Moderator) – February 19, 2018 01:59AM Reply Quote
Love it!

John Willoughby – April 30, 2018 05:36PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
My review of the solar system: one star.

Mokers (Moderator) – April 30, 2018 05:47PM Reply Quote
Formerly Remy Martin
I lol'd.

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