Spork Boards

small, furry, loud, dangerous

bahamut's Avatar Picture bahamut – November 15, 2008 09:46AM Reply Quote
a thread about our spawn.

El Jeffe – October 10, 2011 07:41PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
yes, the guy/gal I bought my motorcycle from used those with his kids. And I've seen others. Kinda odd concept. I (would) desire to have my feet on pegs.

Alan Lehman – October 10, 2011 11:51PM Reply Quote
Tony Leggett
Do you guys have these "balance bikes" in the US?


Just ordered one for my soon-to-be three-year-old...

Yes but under different names. Put your daughter on one and, when the time comes, she'll make an instant transition to a real pedal bike. The balance bike teaches the hardest part up front without pedals in the way. In my (admittedly limited) experience, the fastest way to teach a kid to ride a bike is to take the pedals off and teach them to push themselves along first. Once they can balance, put the pedals back and teach them to pedal too. The balance bike just makes that first step accessible to kids who are much younger.

El Jeffe – October 11, 2011 04:43AM Reply Quote
What a journey.
I do believe some people have no balance ability, by the way.
Did anyone watch this week's The Amazing Race on CBS?
The old(est) lady fell countless times.

El Jeffe – October 13, 2011 05:49PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
I got my son his first cell phone yesterday.
Upon return to home today... "Uh, Dad, I can't unlock the screen"
I look at it and immediately saw three cracks radiating from a single point on the touch screen.
"Oh and Dad, mom thinks the screen is cracked".

NO FUCKING DUH IT'S CRACKED! I can see it with my own two eyes. And it worked fine as of 6 am before I left for work.

This.... THIS.... is how (my) kids take care of stuff.
I still have a 30 year old HP 41 CV calculator that works perfectly fine from High School and his first phone doesn't make it 24 hours. Less, if you consider today is the first say post-charge and activation. Likely not even 5 hours.

So, sorry SON, looks like you don't have a phone after all.


John Willoughby – October 13, 2011 06:56PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
My kids treat their MacBooks the way that I treat magazines. Magazines that I don't like much. My wife treats her computer like furniture. Old furniture, not worth fussing about. It drives me nuts to see an unplugged MacBook on the floor, partially obscured by a blanket so it could easily be kicked or stepped on, burning in the start screen for a DVD. No amount of yelling will change the kids, and I don't want to yell at my wife.

The only advantage to ME of the kids having computers is that it gives me something to take away when they misbehave.

John Willoughby – November 14, 2011 02:52PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
On my continuing mission to achieve "Worst Parent EVER" status, I've started my eight-year-old on Call of Duty. She's kind of over WoW and, while she will watch Minecraft videos for hours, she doesn't actually play it much. She's been bugging me for a new MMO, and there just aren't many on the Mac that would work for her. EVE is too complex and deadly, City of Heroes doesn't really interest her and (from what I last saw there) may be too complex, Warhammer is too close to WoW, etc. She recently sparked a little helping my wife play Marathon on her iPad, and the Mac App Store lets me put my copy Call of Duty on her MacBook. So, I figured, what the hell.

She plays on "Greenhorn" mode, and is actually doing better than I thought she would. This is the WWII game, where you play US, UK, and Soviet soldiers fighting the Germans. She's mostly through the US missions. I don't think I'd let her play the version set in modern times; too much moral ambiguity, and I don't want her shooting civilians for fun.

Her primary insights so far are to marvel at the devastation of war (she watched me in Stalingrad to get a feel for the game), and how much it must suck to really be in one. Not a bad lesson. She also believes that her squad mates are secretly shooting at her. (Possible, accidentally, but more likely her lack of concern with proper use of cover is allowing distant Germans to shoot her.) She also secretly shot at her squad mates until she realized that doing this caused her to automatically fail her mission. She has also learned not to throw grenades at walls that bounce them back to you.

I figure that I've got about two years until she's better at twitch fps games than I am, but it will be a fun two years.

El Jeffe – November 14, 2011 04:50PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
If we had some sort of social media website badges which I could award you .... LOL

John Willoughby – December 19, 2011 03:33PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
We've always been too lenient with our kids. Mostly because my wife feels rather strongly, for reasons that aren't clear to me, that they should KNOW how to behave and should want to do so because it makes everybody's life better. Also, to be fair, because I didn't want to be the sole disciplinarian and start screaming and dispensing physical justice as soon as I walked in the door from work. So my wife was a utopian dreamer, and I was lazy and dodged the responsibility of being the Man and pushing them into line.

No more.

This morning, my wife got up at 6:30 AM to keep my oldest daughter company as she prepared for the bus, and make her a lunch. Since, either due to her pampered life or a desire to get as much sleep as possible, my daughter won't prepare her own lunch. My daughter was standing in her room, half dressed, and demanded that my wife find her a piece of clothing that she wanted to wear. My wife went down to the laundry room to look for it. (The daughter has a search algorithm which consists of repeatedly looking in the most convenient location, declaring that the desired item could not be anywhere else, and screaming for my wife to find it.) After some minutes searching, my wife came back upstairs to find my daughter, still half-dressed, standing in the middle of her room. She yelled at my wife for not keeping better track of where she (the daughter) dropped her clothes, and berated my wife for her poor skills as a valet. She then refused to get on the bus and went back to bed. (Had I been awake, she would have been thrown onto the bus with whatever clothing she'd managed to find.) When I got up an hour later, the daughter was up again, still half-dressed and still demanding assistance finding her desired clothing.

It was the last straw.

Our children are basically decent people, but they feel entitled to butler, short-order cook, valet, and maid service 24/7. These being the services that my wife has provided. They are going to meet reality. From now on, they will be allowed access to entertainment (computers/TV/books/music) only after chores have been completed. They will not be rewarded for good behavior, they will only be granted access to the things that they used to have free access to. There will be no backtalk, and the possibility of physical punishment for flagrant disrespect will exist.

My wife is the most giving parent in the world and it took them driving her to a state of near suicidal rage for her to agree to this program (which I have been pushing for some time). The kids may one day be our friends, but for now they are our children and will learn to

follow the damn rules

El Jeffe – December 19, 2011 03:50PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
I wish you the best of luck. Sincerely I do.
I am uncertain as to which, if any, method works on every kid. I do strongly believe a good portion of it comes from within them, and is strongly influenced by others/school, etc.
I don't hesitate to let them know what they should do. But lists, and rewards/punishments have not appeared to influence (which reminds me that I need to YELL at them right now......)


good luck.

John Willoughby – December 19, 2011 04:25PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
Yeah. The oldest daughter is almost a teenager and really, really dislikes getting up at the crack of dawn for her school bus. It's her first year of middle school and I think that she misses the feeling of being special, and known as a good student, that she got at her elementary school. So Monday mornings feel like doom. At her age, being a know-it-all comes naturally and she regards us as incompetent idiots when we try to get her to change her behavior. I don't know if discipline will work, especially when applied after a lifetime without much of it, but things cannot continue as they are.

For me, the worst behavior is accepting everything that their mother does for them, A LOT, and then screaming at her for not doing more. When they will not lift a finger to do anything for themselves. It hurts my wife to be treated so disrespectfully. One day she's going to get in her car, drive away, and never come back.

And it's not just about my wife or our domestic situation. I try to imagine how they'll deal with college roommates, or their first boss. They are quite pleasant children; open, cheerful, and respectful (to non-parents). But the first time a boss tells them to do something, their instinctive response will be, "Why can't you do it?"

I need these girls to support me in my dotage, they need to be able to hold jobs.

El Jeffe – December 19, 2011 06:03PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
Trust me, that is one of my first thoughts, too. And then I think, even IF the kids (anyone really) do an stand-up job, in today's environment it's still not likely enough and/or not their fault since people are being let go right and left. sigh. Anyway, hope for the best. You're not alone. Hang in there.

dharlow – December 21, 2011 05:10AM Reply Quote
While I don't have kids yet (and since the wife is still having medical issues going to be a bit longer) I have just been appalled at how kids treat their parents now, of all our friends there is only one (maybe two) where I consider their kids well behaved. The rest pretty much are spoiled brats who think they are entitled to everything, and think their parents should not only wait on them hand and foot but also that they should be able to have anything they want (cell phones, etc.) if the parents won't get it for them they will start screaming.


ARL (Moderator) – December 21, 2011 07:58AM Reply Quote
While I don't have kids yet (and since the wife is still having medical issues going to be a bit longer) I have just been appalled at how kids treat their parents now, of all our friends there is only one (maybe two) where I consider their kids well behaved. The rest pretty much are spoiled brats who think they are entitled to everything, and think their parents should not only wait on them hand and foot but also that they should be able to have anything they want (cell phones, etc.) if the parents won't get it for them they will start screaming.


That's because there's an entire industry that's sprung up saying that if you break wind within a 50Km radius of your child - that child will be irreparably damaged and end up a modern day Hannibal Lecter...

The modern day guilt industry has made it very difficult to raise a child without the child being a "spoilt brat" (and therefore "bad parent") or the parent being a "bad parent". It's horrible.

I'm exaggerating but it's harder to set the same boundaries that parents set 30 years ago.

John Willoughby – December 21, 2011 12:36PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
It's true that my wife regards a spanking the same way that I would regard a beheading, but she's coming around to my point of view.

The kids have actually accepted the New Order surprisingly well. I think that there is some acknowledgement that they had pushed things too far. (At least until Christmas.)

Our main problem going forward is making sure that we don't let things lapse into their old patterns.

johnny k – December 21, 2011 01:11PM Reply Quote
Yeah, they say consistency is important. At least with training animals. Which is what we'll use to train our kids - hopefully we'll have some space to get a mule/dogs and they'll have to do the chores and break them. And in the process, learn something heartwarming about themselves, just like in that movie.

Jeff Cooper – December 22, 2011 02:59PM Reply Quote
Noah (trying to get me to reverse a decision made by his mother): "But, Dad! You're a man--you're in charge!"
Me: < hysterical laughter >

Oh Noah, you have much to learn about life.

Dr Phred (Moderator) – December 26, 2011 02:56PM Reply Quote
owned by the mothership.
THe wife and I figure we should pick the kid most likely to be able to support us in our old age and put all our resources into supporting that kid. The rest will have to fend for themselves.

tliet – January 03, 2012 09:23PM Reply Quote
Consistency is key. My wife's daughter is now 21 and has been a problem child since about forever. Lately it's become serious (alcohol etc.) and after the first totally off the rails incident we've warned her that we won't be there to put her back on the rails for the second time.

We've done this with the emotional issues ('find a therapist, we are not') that constantly started at 10PM, money problems ('we'll help once, but only this time') and most recently housing (we arranged a move for her once, next time she'll have to arrange it herself, but we'll physically help).

We're now in India for a month and just before we left it looked like things would go off the rails again. My wife and I talked about it way before, since we expected this to be happening and decided that whatever happened, we would go anyway. So we went just when things were about to take a turn for the worst (or so it seemed). We got an e-mail about 5 days back that she had found a new job and was too busy with money problems to be an emotional wreck. So, our strategy seem to be working.

Kids need to learn to fend for themselves, look at the animal world, I think we can learn a lot from it.

Over the past couple of years we learned to be (more) consistent and selfish and it seems to be paying off.

(edited for more nuance)

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2012 09:35PM by tliet.

John Willoughby – January 04, 2012 12:35AM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
Kids need to learn to fend for themselves, look at the animal world, I think we can learn a lot from it.

So... we should eat them?

johnny k – January 04, 2012 10:07AM Reply Quote
Only each others'.

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