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El Jeffe's Avatar Picture El Jeffe – December 09, 2007 06:56AM Reply Quote
finally, back to normal

El Jeffe – December 03, 2012 02:37PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
I like Arial

John Willoughby – December 03, 2012 05:19PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
I like Ike

porruka (Admin) – December 03, 2012 05:33PM Reply Quote
Failure is pre-greatness.
I like Ariel

John Willoughby – December 03, 2012 07:44PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
Really? To each his own, I guess...

AAE74747-03.jpg&h=360

porruka (Admin) – December 04, 2012 08:21AM Reply Quote
Failure is pre-greatness.
Oy gevalt.

El Jeffe – December 06, 2012 04:45AM Reply Quote
What a journey.
Cheese-ball goodness

El Jeffe – December 31, 2012 02:46PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
bored. and a bit nauseated. almost finished tiling my bathroom. just the complicated cuts/shapes left to do now. I likely won't get to it until next year. :)

El Jeffe – January 23, 2013 04:22PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
The (spork) Turret Anthem
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVECSYevEz0#t
Actually pretty damned cool

El Jeffe – March 11, 2013 10:07AM Reply Quote
What a journey.
Just ate a French Demi

El Jeffe – April 09, 2013 03:51PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
I hate glitter

El Jeffe – June 09, 2013 02:14AM Reply Quote
What a journey.
Honestly...

If someone tosses in an "honestly..." or "I'm not going to lie to you"... .always makes me wonder if they mean everything ELSE I hear come out of their pie hole is tainted...

John Willoughby – February 09, 2014 12:47PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
I think that customer support centers that keep me on hold due to "unusually heavy call volume" should be legally required to produce records demonstrating that the historical call volume for the date, hour of call, and day of the weak is normally at least 10% less than the current call volume. Refusal to hire sufficient service people is NOT unusually high call volume! They've never NOT had unusually heavy call volume when I call.

(Typed while on perma-hold. I guess that 45 minutes IS "more than ten minutes," just as they warned me...)

El Jeffe – February 09, 2014 02:19PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
Sorry. Spork Boards is experiencing extremely heavy traffic. Please be patient while your post is being read, ingested, given much thought, and if we find it to be worthy of a reply, there are only 32 other posts ahead of yours.

johnny k – February 10, 2014 05:26AM Reply Quote
I got that "unusually heavy call volume" (I'll give you unusually heavy volume) when I called our health care insurance provider just to ask them for their mailing address for payments, because they didn't have one on their website and my autopay setup takes two weeks to process. That wasn't the worst of it. There was of course the voice-activated phone tree that always misunderstands you and then repeats options, this time with the keypad number. (Maybe start with that?) Press 3, a live person.

I was on hold long enough to determine that the on-hold music pattern is 30 seconds of a jazzy soulless number, interrupted by "Your call is very important to us. A customer advocate will be with you shortly." Then, the same crappy song starts again, from the top. Every minute, the music is switched between (the first 30 seconds of) two equally insipid tracks. Add in the perfect lie of "Your call is very important to us. A customer advocate will be with you shortly" every 30 seconds, and you come to the conclusion that this is not a bad attempt at customer placation, but a psychological attack meant to either make you divulge any Al Qaeda contacts you have, or drive you back to the website and its low overhead. So low, they don't put any support numbers other than IT, so inevitably when I get a person on the phone, they say, "This is the IT support line. Let me transfer you to billing." And the cycle repeats.

To stay mildly on-topic, imagine the Tourette's I developed. I never wanted to throw my phone at the wall so hard.

tomierna (Admin) – February 10, 2014 05:33AM Reply Quote
Hideously Unnatural
Setting up call queues is something I do these days. It's amazing the flexibility these things have. I try to think about it from the perspective of someone calling in though.

Fun fact: you may be recorded during ring tone or on-hold music!

El Jeffe – February 10, 2014 08:25AM Reply Quote
What a journey.
I've often assumed I am being monitored, if not recorded (every phone call...)... so I sing broadway tunes...

John Willoughby – February 10, 2014 08:37AM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
Quote
tomierna
Fun fact: you may be recorded during ring tone or on-hold music!

I've been hoping so! I loudly voice all of my issues with the process, as though talking to somebody else, while I'm on hold. Just for their benefit. It annoys my family if they're in the room with me, though. It also seems that the frequency of the "Somebody will be with you shortly" message is inversely proportional to the actual wait. It's actually useful if there's no music on the line, since it tells me that I haven't been disconnected (a whole other hell), but at least record 5 different messages and choose one randomly each time.

For some reason it reminds me of the banks... when they put in ATM's and fired most of their tellers, and then introduced a "convenience fee" for using the ATMs. Fortunately competition got rid of them charging their own customers to access their own money, but it's still there for people using other banks to access their cash.

And another thing, to ensure my enshrinement as a curmudgeon, what's with the phone spammers these days? I've been getting the calls from Antigua/Barbados, one ring and hang up. The scam is that when you call back, you're billed $30/minute for an adult entertainment business. Just annoying. But more irritating than that is the spammers that call from overseas (I'm guessing India, but who knows). I've had several where the caller's accent was so thick that I couldn't even understand that they were trying to sell me something until I hung up and checked the caller's number on the internet. If you're going to spam me, speak good English. Or remedial Spanish or Russian. Or Esperanto, I can work that out. It's not like I'll buy anything anyway, but at least we can both get through the call quickly.

Cloudscout – February 10, 2014 08:58AM Reply Quote
Det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlige klær!
That post is best read in the voice of Andy Rooney.

John Willoughby – February 10, 2014 05:30PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support
That's what my voice sounds like.

johnny k – February 10, 2014 06:06PM Reply Quote
Quote

Setting up call queues is something I do these days. It's amazing the flexibility these things have.

You're just an all-around AV tech doer, aren't you? Are they being filmed while on hold too? I did a voice menu once, as a demo for a phone interface to a web service. The company is pretty old-school... they employed a big bank of people to take phone calls before we made a website and they realized their call volume halved. Being pre-smartphone, voice interface was useful on the road. I used MacPhone, which was crazy easy to use. Just a visual flow environment much like Quartz Composer.

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