Local Unmentionables: Notes on YOUR corner of the world

Sorry for bringing the whole thing up. I really did just read Tony's innocent original statement the wrong way, and thought he might be amused at what I perceived him to say. I was also unaware of any tie-in of the phrase to the physically handicapped, so I was more offensive than I was trying to be. This is why my career as a stand up comedian has gone nowhere. Well, that and my refusal to stand up.

You know I can take the ferry to the Apple Store instead. I think I'll do that.

Eating a yummy honey cake made from matzah. Which raises the question: if you can make a credible honey cake from matzah, what exactly is the point of restricting grain intake to matzah? I'm convinced they could make regular bread from matzah--it's just the obvious appearance of impropriety that's stopping them. That said, I've been a good boy.

I've never understood that whole leavened/unleavened bread thing...

that goes for me, too. (I'm sure it's just a few clicks away, though)

Anyone have any experience with/connections in Finland?

ddt

What kind of connections? I was there for a week last summer.

Cool -- what were you there for? It's not a usual honeymoon location.

I've been offered a research position for just the summer at HIIT to work on projects headed by this guy (Olli). But it doesn't pay very much and I'm worried I'd actually lose money, considering it doesn't cover housing and travel costs.

ddt



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/24/2011 04:37PM by ddt.

Tolkien's High Elvish language, Quenya, is based on the sounds of Finnish. (I know that helps a lot with your decision... but Finnish IS supposed to be a beautiful-sounding language.)

I dunno, it's just all J, K and L, and impossible to learn. You know its closest linguistic relative is Korean? They all speak English anyway, so screw it.

I was there for a sound design workshop at Aalto University. The weather and Helsinki was nice, though I hardly had any time to look around. I crashed on the floor of a local student's studio apt. That sucks they don't cover housing... if they are interested in you, maybe they can find a bit of extra money to help. They have to know how expensive it is in US dollars for a poor grad student. Otherwise, there may be some cheap summer sublets or even just nice (raven-haired, piercing blue eyes) students willing to take you in. They are a very polite people. And beautiful.

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Tony Leggett
I've never understood that whole leavened/unleavened bread thing...

It's to commemorate the rather hasty departure of the Israelites from Egypt as they were delivered from slavery. Exodus 12:39: "And they baked unleavened cakes of the dough that they had taken out of Egypt, for it was not leavened since they had been driven out of Egypt." Deuteronomy 16:3: "For seven days thereafter [during Passover] you shall eat unleavened bread, bread of distress--for you departed from the land of Egypt hurriedly--so that you may remember the day of your departure from the land of Egypt as long as you live."

I'll be honest: I did not slaughter a Passover sacrifice to the Lord.

DPBD: ddt, my first cousin worked for Nokia in Finland for three or four years (he returned to the States a year or so ago and is now in the Seattle area). Let me know if you'd like me to contact him.

Re: Finland

...and, IIRC, you buy all your drink in a shop called Alkohol (the Swedes go for the more discreet name of "Systemet" - and then give you conspicuous green bags in which to carry home your sins.

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johnny k
I dunno, it's just all J, K and L, and impossible to learn. You know its closest linguistic relative is Korean?

I'd heard Estonian and, more distantly Hungarian. Attempts to link it to other Asian languages were... controversial. It is a very difficult language.

My wife and kids are back East, dealing with a family member's health issues. (Tedious details in Health thread.) While there, instead of the motel I recommended, they are staying in my sister-in-law's double wide. 15+ people and a large number of dogs. (Yes, the dream is alive in North Carolina.)

I am allergic to dogs. When we got a dog for ourselves, we got a Bichon Frise, which is a good breed for allergic owners. That said, I still have problems around her at times. She has done substantial damage to our carpets, is only indifferently housebroken, and has even chewed up some furniture. I love the little screwball, but she has definitely done my lifestyle and my home a lot of damage.

My wife and oldest daughter have fallen in love with a six week old puppy at the double wide, and want to bring it home. I keep getting iPhone pictures, and texted promises to do all of the things with this puppy that they promised to do with the Bichon (and largely didn't). As soon as I realized that my wife wasn't joking, I started a policy of strong resistance. I love dogs, but we have one, and I don't want another dog, non-allergy friendly, destroying my house. I'm not stupid enough to think that I will be able to expel it from the house or put it to sleep once it is here. Hell, I'll probably love the damned thing, too. And I'll have to lock myself in my bedroom 24x7 for the next 15 years, and totally refurbish the house after that. (Not that the house doesn't already need refurbishing.)

How do I handle a fait accompli, if they have the puppy with them when I pick them up from the airport, other than abject acquiescence? It doesn't help that my oldest daughter's birthday is May 2.

Seems an eternal truth that kids promise to care for a pet, and don't. That's why we were never allowed to have any.

Distract them with a hypoallergenic non-animal bauble. Maybe it's worth your money to get a Nook Color or iPod Touch, or 3DS with Nintendogs.
Or extract some sort of compromise from them. You get something you want/need, that isn't behavior change that will never come. Maybe take your allergy medication costs out of allowance. Help them understand the financial cost to the family that this will impose through your medical bills, furniture, etc.
Or if you can promise to revisit the issue after you've seen some responsibility with the existing dog. They probably can't be reasoned with until there's space between them and that cute thing.

That sucks. With your health and stress problems lately, I'd hope that they'd be more understanding. I'm kinda on the other side of the equation. My wife is allergic to cats, and she inherited one in our relationship (well, two, but that's another story). I had to give up letting the cat sleep on the bed, wash my hands after touching her, and we'll never get another cat unless it's an outdoor model. I guess that's okay since I'm not specifically a cat lover, but it's been a lot of rewiring habits and vocal complaints (still, years later) from both the cat and the wife.

As far as negotiation with the kids goes, I can hold the line. After all, history supports my contentions. What I am worried about is my wife. Either showing up with the puppy, or showing up very angry over my intransigence. She, rightly enough, sees herself as the responsible party who would end up doing up all of the work when the kids (inevitably) default on their promises. Since I rarely even walk our dog, she may see me as extraneous to the decision-making process.

It's not like I don't owe her favors, but the allergy stuff can be horrible and there is no cure besides giving away a beloved pet, killing it, or giving away a beloved husband. Because the Bichon isn't too bad for me, they've never seen me in full asthma mode with my lungs whistling like calliopes, eyes streaming, and sneezing every thirty seconds. So they don't know what they're asking, and I just seem like a dick. It's possible that this new dog wouldn't be bad for me; allergies can change over time. I know that I still have some allergies because if I don't wash my hands after patting the Bichon, I do suffer some. But maybe I would no longer reach those paroxysms of distress. But there's no way to know, without committing to owning the dog for its lifetime or tearing out my family's hearts.

I just don't want to set myself up for even the possibility of that.

DPBD: I guess that the crux of things is that I am not sure whether I am being a dick and trying to make MY life as easy as possible, or being a prudent dad and trying to make the family's life as easy as possible. And if I can't tell, how are they supposed to be able to tell?

The fact that your obligations prevented you from accompanying them to North Carolina should answer that. I don't think they can rightfully accuse you of being selfish. Your health and well-being are key to their happiness as well. You and your wife both know that a new dog is going to serve no purpose aside from temporary novelty and will, ultimately, reduce the quality of life for everyone in your house. Just because your quality of life is likely to suffer the most doesn't change that fact.

Once you have the dog, there's no way to get rid of it without being a jerk. Maybe they can make a compelling argument for getting another dog but there's no way they can make a compelling argument for getting THIS dog. Tell them that they need to prove that they're capable of stepping up to the commitments they made before with your current dog and if they demonstrate the requisite responsibility, you can look into adding a dog at that time but not before.

My project was supposed to go to QA at the end of this week, and was in crunch time. Wednesday, they decided to make some major changes to it which would push its QA date from one to six weeks into the future (still undecided). Suddenly, I was able to take the three-day weekend that everybody else at my office was taking. Too late to fly east with the others, and my job needed me back today, but I got a quiet, stress-free weekend out of it. Well, stress-free until the puppy texts and e-mails started. Still, no trump card to play in negotiations.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/25/2011 11:23AM by John Willoughby.