Spork Boards

Boss Bitch

Simon's Avatar Picture Simon – December 18, 2007 02:38PM Reply Quote
For all your work woes.

stan adams – May 06, 2008 10:00AM Reply Quote
He needs a stronger dose of Garrison Keillor ...

YDD – May 06, 2008 11:16AM Reply Quote
Quote

Should I replace his ribs with chocolate pretzels?
A better question: do you use an anaesthetic while removing his ribs? ;-)

El Jeffe – May 06, 2008 02:42PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
Quote
Cloudscout
A couple of coworkers and I were waiting in line to microwave our food at lunch time today. There are two microwaves on each floor and I was next in line at the ones on our floor when one of the microwaves was freed up. I turned to grab my food from the counter and when I turned back around to put it in the microwave, the other guy who was already using one microwave took another plate of food and put it in the second microwave. I was going to say something but he only put it in for 45 seconds so I figured I would just be a nice guy and wait. When the 45 seconds were up, I turned to grab my food again and when I turned back around, he was hitting buttons to put his food in for more time. So I decided to finally speak up. I said very calmly and politely, "Excuse me. You probably shouldn't use both microwaves when there's a line of people waiting." His response shocked me. He looks at me (and the others waiting) and snaps at me saying, "Oh yeah?! Where's the sign that says I have to do that?!"

I just said, "Whatever. I'll just go to another floor, jerk." Someone else called him an asshole and we walked down to the next floor to heat up our food. The thing is, the guy was heating up ribs. A lot of ribs. He had a big brown bag with more of them that he put back in the refrigerator. It's taking a tremendous amount of self control for me to not go and deposit that brown bag in the trash can. After all, there's no sign telling me that I can't, right?

That's why I carry guns. (JUST KIDDING!!!!)

tliet – May 06, 2008 08:49PM Reply Quote
Oh, it's multiple guns now Bill? :-)

El Jeffe – May 07, 2008 12:33AM Reply Quote
What a journey.
Did I not mention that here earlier? Yeah, I'm oft to carry two guns now. There are pros/cons to each, and to the carry location/position of each.

Madaracs – May 07, 2008 08:57AM Reply Quote
Ooh! Scary! Scary! Don't we look mean? You can't see me! But I can see you!
I carry one gun. And it's always loaded and ready to go.

El Jeffe – May 07, 2008 01:45PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
you do?

Cloudscout – May 07, 2008 06:59PM Reply Quote
Det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlige klær!
I believe he was being euphemistic.

Madaracs – May 08, 2008 06:32AM Reply Quote
Ooh! Scary! Scary! Don't we look mean? You can't see me! But I can see you!
He was. Alas, the moment is lost... and so is I.

rino – May 08, 2008 07:08AM Reply Quote
In America, the only respectable form of socialism is socialism for the rich.
> There is only one way to resolve these sorts of matters, CS: stinkpalm.

Yes I had to visit Urban Dictionary for clarification.
That's just wrong!

Just find a solution that you put on his food while it's in the fridge ... a solution that disrupts his bowels in a tremendous manner.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/08/2008 07:10AM by rino.

Madaracs – May 08, 2008 09:28AM Reply Quote
Ooh! Scary! Scary! Don't we look mean? You can't see me! But I can see you!

stan adams – May 08, 2008 09:37AM Reply Quote
Here is some helpful info toward that end, note especially table 4:

http://www.aafp.org/afp/980915ap/schaefer.html

Stimulants and irritants
Phenolphthalein*
Bisacodyl
Senna
Cascara


Onset of action:
10 minutes

I highly recommend the one that is most fun for spelling bees:
http://www.coleparmer.com/catalog/product_view.asp?sku=8835436

Should be enough for a good dozen doses...

Even nicer if you also could somehow cause the nearest bathrooms to be out of order...

Steve Cordova – May 09, 2008 11:17AM Reply Quote
History passes the first time as tragedy, the second time as farts. - Roy Edroso
These look so innocent yet cause such distress if more than a small hand full are eaten.

El Jeffe – May 09, 2008 03:37PM Reply Quote
What a journey.
I don't follow you. Are the trick candy?

Steve Cordova – May 09, 2008 06:52PM Reply Quote
History passes the first time as tragedy, the second time as farts. - Roy Edroso
Sugar alcohol instead of sugar. works great for my sweet tooth and doesn't spike my blood sugar, which is good for us diabetics, however, eat too much and you get this.

El Jeffe – May 10, 2008 12:29AM Reply Quote
What a journey.
a xylitol, sorbitol or such I guess. I never knew they caused gas.
I've always wondered what the downside would be of having a gas-permeable small tube placed/run through one's intestine to vent such gas in manageable streams and not old-faithful style.

John Willoughby – May 10, 2008 08:52PM Reply Quote
Cyberdyne Systems Customer Support

DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS!


Cloudscout – May 11, 2008 05:11AM Reply Quote
Det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlige klær!
Tell him about the sugar-free Twinkie.

rino – May 11, 2008 04:22PM Reply Quote
In America, the only respectable form of socialism is socialism for the rich.
I'm with ya Jeffe ... could've used such an apparatus today.

Quote

Lycasin Trade name for hydrogenated glucose syrup, a bulk sweetener.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/11/2008 04:22PM by rino.

Cloudscout – May 23, 2008 09:56AM Reply Quote
Det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlige klær!
I was supposed to be off today but I had some things I needed to finish up. It wasn't so bad, though, since it's 65? and sunny outside right now and I'm sitting at the table on my deck with the laptop doing my work.

Sorry, only registered users may post in this forum.

Click here to login