Boss Bitch

Dear Test Teams:

Once again I must point out, we do not test things because we know they're going to work. We test things so that we can identify and resolve problems. Please stop behaving like the ants in A Bug's Life. When a leaf falls on the trail, that doesn't mean STOP. That means you need to figure out how to either move the leaf or go around it. Your job is not finished until you can complete the tests successfully and finding a solution to problems that appear during your tests is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. If you can't figure it out on your own then you had better find someone who can help you figure it out. It's YOUR APPLICATION and YOU OWN IT.

I just got an email that our CEO has approved more licenses for our testing tools that I manage. :)

Never before heard our CEO care down to this level.

Well, considering the economy and the prices that are being asked for testing tools, I can understand your CEO.

Approvals have been finalized. I'm going to India for 6 months starting in January.

Thank you! Come again!

Cool CS, that's going to be a great experience.

I'll watch your home theater when you are gone.

You should house-sit for me... it would cut about 25 miles off your daily commute. Heh.

Party at Sparby's!

Well, I'd still have to drive my kids to school in Stillwater every day, so that wouldn't help much.

You baby them too much!

*expletive deleted*

Trouble with the Maharaja? Sorry, CS.

No. The problem isn't with anyone here in India.

Ooh, even worse. Long distance hassle. I hope it works out.

I'm currently at the intersection of strep, fever, and a work project that must be completed on time "at all costs."

Plead fever-induced insanity...

"oh, I thought Skynet had already gone online... Whaddya mean that's not our project?!?"

I explain ALL my projects as the result of some form of insanity.

While our company was laying off 20% of its workforce, slashing benefits, and increasing hours, our new company CEO kept posting company newsletters about the fabulous places she was visiting customers: Sidney, Paris, London, etc. Lots of descriptions of her glamorous surroundings. Then she told us that, her world tour complete, she'd be taking some time off with her husband to lie on a Mexican beach and take the sun. The woman has no idea what she single-handedly did to morale, and how much more damage her chatty "newsletters" did. After some strong pushback from the rank and file, some of her subordinate managers seem to have made her realize how she was coming across. Now the newsletters are bland, cheer-leading propaganda.

What about the gaming centers in San Tropez, Monaco, Luxemborg, the Bahamas? Think of the grueling days driving million dollar super cars while being ogled by a Bond-esque super villian...

Gee how could not sympathize with her?