Love Stinks!

Maybe we don't need to lock 'em, but at least drop a noindex tag into the forums themselves? or into spork central? or does that mess with the advertising?

since it is php, it might be hard to turn off indexing for just a single forum, although I don't know the software. no-indexing would probably kill any ads on those pages.

Mediation done, documents signed (but won't be filed until a month from now so that we can file a joint tax return this year and have my income--the only income the two of us have--taxed at the more favorable brackets--thanks, tax code). I didn't see her during the process--that's how divorce mediations work--but it's clear that she was pretty irrational about some things (indeed, the mediator told me as much, which struck me as a bit odd). In any event, she's getting more money than she really ought to, but I'm getting better parenting time with the kids than she wanted to give me. Fair trade, I guess. Yes, it's offensive that I effectively had to buy better access to my kids, but on that score I have most of what I wanted, in writing, to be signed by a judge. I'll take it (although, financially, it's going to be an interesting next two years).

hang in there.
I've got a life-time friend whose wife just filed. He's a wreck.

Sorry to hear, fellas. Stay sane. That's the best revenge, and good for the kids too.

I suppose this would be a bad time to note that my own mediation is going relatively well. This far at least. We still share space on weekends at opposite ends under the same roof although we're both thankful that I spend most of my time at work 125 miles away on weekdays.

Regardless of how well or poorly mediation has gone thus far, apparently several of us ended up with the wrong girl. Also note that I said it's gone relatively well _this far_. It could all go to hell next session. Not that that provides any comfort either...

Hang in there guys. It does get better. It really does.

Had dinner with a friend whose wife left him, and three girls for all intents and purposes. Sad state of affairs. I won't go into details. Just know that I'm sorry for everyone that has to go through this stuff. Hang in there men.

Can I just say that I am really tired of doing tech support for my almost-ex-wife?

Heh. Can't blame you there. Have you let her know that she's nearing the end of her service period?

give her a stuxnet install. :)

I need her cooperation in some things. This, I think, is part of the price for that cooperation.

Quote
Jeff Cooper
Can I just say that I am really tired of doing tech support for my almost-ex-wife?

That goes double here. Her tech support guy at work has been putting ideas in her head like key loggers and packet sniffers as explanations for how I've figured some things out. The reality is that she doesn't understand URL autocomplete and browser cache and history files so that when she uses my browser with my account to do things she'd rather not have me find out about, that I find out sometimes by accident. Of course, now I check by habit...

Then she accused me of knocking her wintel laptop off the network so that she'd have to use my mac. Try explaining that sometimes wintel boxes just do strange things. It seems so obvious to me but everything is a conspiracy to her.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/29/2010 09:28PM by Alan Lehman.

Yeah, tech-illiterate courts probably consider that "hacking." She just shouldn't use your computer or IT services if she wants to keep something from you.

It might be worth giving her $400 so she can buy a router and cheapo windows netbook, tell her to get her tech support guy from work to set it up for her, and never, ever touch it or help with it under any condition.

Might avoid baseless, irrefutable charges being made six months down the road.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2010 08:07AM by John Willoughby.

I had a very uncomfortable story with auto-complete at the office. This outside group was coming in to do some evaluations at a school. I had to help a few of the members get connected wirelessly, connect their printers, etc. First thing I do when i am checking connectivity is type google.com. as soon as I had typed "g", a bunch of recent searches had come up, most of them dealing with random femdom fetishes.

I personally don't care what people do to get off, but I wasn't sure if I had an obligation to speak up about it. It was definitely a laptop he received from a school district, and at the very least, I should let the person know that his searches can be viewed and to clear his cache and whatnot. on the other hand, he was partly responsible for the school's evaluation and I didn't want it to come across like I was snooping around even though I came across the information by complete accident.

That's awful, Tony, even if in some ways it sounds preferable to the daily 15-30 minute conversation I have with K (these conversations could be substantially shorter, as most of them are part of efforts to talk to the kids, but she's incapable of using 25 words when 2500 are possible).

I kept things civil largely by capitulating to many of her settlement demands. And I am furious about it--probably more than she knows. I have a very difficult couple of years ahead, the price of maintaining my relationship with and easy access to my kids. Fortunately for me, I'm in a position where I can weather the lean years in relative comfort; were I not so fortunate, I'm not sure what I would have done.

I'm on the hook for $900/month in child support but no spousal support. Is that ballpark where I ought to be? I'll get a second opinion before it's finalized.

JW, the other part of the story that I neglected to tell was that we did that, (600 not 400) and I didn't set it up. But my mac is is old that I uninstalled flash to save overhead so on rare occasions, I'd use hers for flash based content. Found stuff by accident that way too. The biggest problem was the day she say down at my computer and realized that I hadn't logged out of my email so she read it for me. That caused all manner of problems -- some of which I deserved.

I have other big painful painful news but it requires another thread. Hint, it involves blood and a cat scan.

Ah, see, you touched her system. Now she can allege that anything bad that happens henceforward is due to your malice. Not that I know her, or have any reason to think that she would. Just that, in a divorce, one should try not to provide the other side with any pretext. Preaching to the choir, I'm sure. I hope that things going forward go more smoothly.